Andrew (twisted_heart) wrote,
Andrew
twisted_heart

This was old, It was just restored... don't really know where it came from.



Wow, I am feeling awesome! I just got back from working out and I don't think I've ever noticed such a drastic mood change in such a short period of time. I'd been really groggy for the majority of the day and then while I was working out and listening to Tony Robbins I just started getting more and more excited and happy. I've come to the realization that a lot of my goals that I've set for myself are being achieved which is awesome! I'm reading more, making a decent dent in my books no matter which book it is, and enjoying it. I'm playing less games and reading more and I'm staying busy regardless of having a very free schedule... I just need to set some goals, I want to work more on the piano and I want to do some studying on apartment management before I go into that field.

I guess I really am kinda nervous about it, there are going to be a lot of changes and it's probably going to be a very traumatic and dramatic time of my life, but the best thing that I can do is try to stay true to myself and my values and don't push away the people who are close to me and sink into some sort of depression. Something that was mentioned in my tape is that when people are successful they celebrate and when they make mistakes they ponder... which is a good thing. Pondering is something that's very important and a positive thing to do. But ponder positively, and if you're not comfortable with where you are then use that discomfort to push yourself forward and try to become better. And if you just change your perspective a little it can make a world of difference in how you treat yourself, what you do, and how you treat the people around you.

Which leads me to one thing that I never really understood... Why do people gotta hate on other people who are doing their thing. I mean I guess it's a fine line between constructive criticism and being just straight up rude. If someone is different or does something different... so what? I know someone who dresses nice on campus and people give him shit for it, "Why you dressing up so nice? You're such a cocky arrogant asshole." Well ya know what? Sometimes it feels good to dress up, sometimes it feels good to wear a dress just to see what it's like, to go to the dining hall while wearing a bathrobe, go from extreme casual to extremely nice, why do you need a particular reason for one or the other? ya know?

But this is something that I guess I've dealt with and then ignored because I figure if people have an issue than it's their problem not mine. There was a fine moment a long time ago when one of my friends was very critical of other people but I discovered that it was just a masque of their own low self esteem. So why feel bad because someone else feels bad to the point that they want to criticize your own self expression.

But in short I'm feeling way better today than I did yesterday, I'm a little worried about my love, she hasn't been sleeping that much and I'm wondering why and what I can do to help. It's rough because I know that I will toss and turn and do crazy things and I just hope I'm not keeping her awake or if there is some other thing that I can do to help...
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