Wow, So it's been more than a month since I posted.. I got really off track so I guess it's time for me to try to get back into this routine... I have a free schedule and I can do what I want, I was posting frequently
"What's most important to me in my life."
Top things that I want in my life, things that I want to avoid.
With success I think I always want more than I can achieve. Enough power to do what I want when I want and the flexibility to really make things change if I want them to. I want people to know
I want someone who can accept me for all of my craziness, my good moments and my bad moments and truly care for me and know me more than anyone else. I want them to be able to rely on me but I also want to be able to rely on them for when it all comes down to it I can be pretty weak. (Luckily I am in a very very very fantastic relationship so I'm completely fulfilled
I'm not too bent on security but it's fairly important. part of the whole success thing. Actually the more I think about it the more I care about it as well. Like, I like the ability to sit and know that all is well and everything is going according to plan and such. I really like that type of security
I feel like people get to be in these dull routines and they end up doing nothing, have no motivation or drive or thirst for life at all and then that is pretty much the same as death to me, like if I wanted to be like that it would just be wasting my life, and I don't want to be wasteful... that's inefficient. So I feel like if I'm not constantly trying to work on my success or make myself better in some way I feel really bad.
Letting my friends down/betraying their trust.
I really care about what my close friends think of me, I'm proud in who I am but I can't be proud of myself if I betray those who have faith in me... I kind of feel like a righteous king or something.. I dunno..
I really like the winter, I know this sounds emo but there's something about the cold wind that blows through the trees that barely have any leaves on it and the slow piercing 'death' of everything which is just real nice.
But yeah, I need to start working out before I start getting even more depressed because I feel like I'm lazy and such.