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|Sunday, January 10th, 2010|
So my mom just blew up at me for calling her. It's currently 11, I called her a little before 10:30 just to check in and say hey and she called back all pissy because I woke her up and it was rude and you shouldn't call anyone after 9 and bla bla bla. It's just a pain in the ass because she used to stay up late and it was totally fine but now that she changed her sleeping pattern and never told me, it's suddenly all my fault. And she wouldn't take an apology and let it go it's like she had to make me feel guilty. It's so trivial, I know not to bring anything up and start it just because it's not actually directed toward me it's just because she's stressed and pissy. I just hate how I have to be her punching back when I wake her up just to say hi. It's like I'm trying to do something harmless or nice and then BAM you never know when she's going to flip her shit. Oh well, I just need to not let it get to me eventually I'm sure she'll find her sanity. It just kinda sucks because she seems so unstable I feel like I need to make up in stability in order to compensate where as I'm at a real insecure place in my life with a lot of strange transitions.
I'm just going to call my lady and go to bed.
|Saturday, January 9th, 2010|
I feel like I'm the range... Like... I don't really know where I belong because I have a lot of different aspects of myself. This just now dawned on me, I really think that my mother raised a curious child, due to the fact that I feel like I can reflect on multiple moments of my past that are completely opposite to each other. Times of kindness, reflected by times of malice, potential success mirrored by utter failure. Business success, creative success. It's just so interesting because I feel like by in a sense having aspects of everything it makes me nothing, it's sort of like being a builder but not having a home. It's also kind of scary because I don't know how I'll impact what in what way. I feel like I could accidentally talk someone out of suicide just as simply as I could convince them that it's a good idea. And I don't really know where I stand on the issue regardless, sometimes one side more than the other but usually just floating around the middle, floating... seems like an experience that I have often. I floated into CAB and did great work and then floated away, I feel like I'll be doing a similar sort of thing with this work with my family, I feel like I'll float in and make lots of positive changes and work really hard and then eventually float away. One thing that I never want to float away from is Meredith, I hope we can just float along together. I do know that if I try to force things than I get real unhappy real fast. All I can do is try to steer a direction if I'm already kind of going that way... like driving on ice.
But for what it's worth life is really great and I'm really happy I just had a weird epiphany
|Sunday, November 1st, 2009|
|Tuesday, September 1st, 2009|
|Wednesday, August 12th, 2009|
|Wednesday, August 5th, 2009|
|Friday, March 13th, 2009|
So I was panning on posting every day but it's been a while. I saw watchmen and loved it, I thought it was real interesting how they played on lots of different levels of humanity. I still have a lot of homework I want to get done before school starts so things run smoothly. Most of it's just reading but then there is a paper, and some other stuff. I have some interesting relationship sort of complication things but so far drama has been minimal so that's good.
So- one of my first relationships that I ever really had ended up lasting like 4 years, so when I think of relationships I associate dating someone with starting a serious long term relationship. So it just kinda rocked my world that you know, dating can be a short term thing, and that can be ok... Relationships are so weird.
Right now I'm watching this anime called Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, I haven't had a lot of time to watch anime recently but this is my second time watching this (Second time with a friend.) but I swear it's the best show ever, regardless of being anime it captures so many incredible qualities that a good show should have I recommend everyone to watch it.
So life is good, spring break was relaxing even though I didn't get to go out and party with all my friends and basically just stayed at school, but I still really enjoyed my time here. Sometimes I feel like I might work too much. But I play real hard too. :)
|Sunday, March 8th, 2009|
I was finally able to sleep, last night I had a real hard time sleeping due to the fact that I ate in my bed and there were crumbs everywhere, so come 3-4 am I pushed all my shit on the floor and started fluffing my sheets, it worked way better than I thought it would. Gravity is so thorough. Beautiful day once again I decided to actually open up my window!! My goal is to make a list and start going through that. 2 things that I HAVE to do today is clean my messy ass room and wash my dirty ass clothes... and eat... I should probably eat. But they closed the friggin caf so every day is an adventure.
I saw waking life (or something like that) last night it was a trippy ass movie, but one thing that really set well with me was when he ran into that girl and she was like "Can we do that again? I want to feel as though I'm actually having human interaction and not just on autopilot like an ant." Or something along those lines.
Today I feel a pretty great appreciation for all the human interaction that I've had, even the people that I knew once and I don't talk to much anymore I'm still really grateful for our past and the experiences that we shared no matter how brief they are/were. Even when people have wronged me in one way or another I just figure that it's better than absolutely nothing. And a lot of time great things come from unfortunate things, so I find it really hard to judge... I'll probably update this with a list thing later.
|Saturday, March 7th, 2009|
|It's been a while
So my last update was 80 weeks ago... that's a long time.
Lets see, I'm on Spring Break, I've decided to stay at school because it takes a long time to drive home and my car isn't really working too well and I have a lot of work I should probably do over break. But that also leaves me, at school, all by myself. Which can kinda suck.
I'm really happy that I left CAB, although it pissed some people off I feel like I have a whole lot more time than I did before. Maybe I can finally get my life together, but I guess that's everyones goal.
Today I mostly stayed in bed and played video games. Although it's really nice outside... Sometimes I've found that I have to do nothing for a little while to realize how much doing nothing sucks, and then I decide to go do something. It used to take a week for me to get frustrated, after that it was a weekend and now it seems to be about a day.
I've found that a way to help get stuff done is making lists and what-not.. I'll probably do something like that tonight for tomorrow. Mid terms ended up ok I guess, some of my classes take up so much time though it makes me want to punch a baby.
|Monday, August 20th, 2007|
Ok- so here's the story, I have this thing that I go where there is a post asking a question and people respond anonymously. The question was:
•Do you think that our dead loved ones watch us in the bathroom?
•Do you behave as though you are being watched when you are alone?
•Do you feel awkward being naked in front of a pet?
2007-08-20 01:47 am UTC (link) Track This
1. No. There's no such thing as life after death.
2. Yes, but I live on the first floor of a building in downtown Philadelphia, and being watched through a crack in the curtains is a very real possibility.
3. I don't have any pets, but I can't have sex in front of stuffed animals because it makes me feel guilty. Being naked is okay, but not having sex or masturbating.
(Reply to this)(Thread)
2007-08-20 02:00 am UTC (link) Track This
1. Says you.
(Reply to this)(Parent) (Thread)
2007-08-20 03:39 am UTC (link) Track This
1. Yeah, there's no proof either way, so "says you" doubled.
Ok- I hate it when people do things like this. Because seriously... What's the point of saying "Says you" I mean... whatever someone says is an opinion unless it's backed with some sort of evidence that would make it a fact. I can see how someone can get confused about things like that. But seriously, what message are you trying to give someone when you say "Says you" That's like saying "You just said what you just said." No shit! *Mumbles and grumbles*
|Wednesday, March 28th, 2007|
|Tuesday, March 27th, 2007|
|Monday, March 26th, 2007|
| ( 03/26/07Collapse )
Does anyone know a good exercise that isolates your love handles?
|Thursday, February 8th, 2007|
Ok, so this sucks. And it's really weird... I am feeling so much love, and I want to give so badly to people that it burns... It actually hurts, I just want to go up to someone and hug them and no matter how much I try it seems like people are too busy for me to just love them for being them and it sucks... It's like, turning positivity into negativity and is quite uncomfortable. So I don't know what to do with myself so I'm going to put a little post on here as a therapeutic vent.
|Monday, January 15th, 2007|
Whoever said exercising creates endorphanes was correct! I've kinda been in the slumps the past week because a lot of changes have been going on in my life and I really wanted them to be for the better, but a lot of stuff just sort of got in the way. So today I made flashcards for my japanese quiz tomorrow (2 quizes within the first 4 class days... wtf ><) But I just played some DDR and MAN! I feel great!!! And it's because I exercised for a little bit, and then I took a shower... mmmmmmm.... So yeah, I just need to remind myself whenever I get depressed and don't want to do anything I should go exercise. :p
|Sunday, January 7th, 2007|
So, I thought I had a plan. Go to school the night beofore and get all of my stuff in the apartment, and I can use all of sunday to organize and saturday night to unpack. Well, it seems that my key doesn't work and now I'm at a friends house who let me sleep on his couch. But now I can't sleep. So he's going to get me up in 6 hours so I can get started on what was supposed to already be done. >< Well, now I'm going to try to go back to sleep, even though I have been trying for two hours. :(
Just a start to a new semester! And year for that matter. :p
|Saturday, January 6th, 2007|
|It dawned on me the other day.
Anal Sex = Old School Birth Control.
I was having a conversation with my friend the other day and she said "Anal sex, it's just not natural" or something like that. So I knew that they did it in the olden days so I was trying to think of why, and that is what I came up with. Thought it was pretty funny. :p
|Thursday, January 4th, 2007|
So I had an amazing night, with an amazing person. And I don't want to forget it so this is going to be a little reminder for myself.
Ahhh, young love. :p <3
|Monday, January 1st, 2007|
|(Someone's gotta do it)
HAPPY NEW YEARS!! HAPPY FIRST!!! HAPPY 2007!! Today is the first day of a new year! You can do whatever you want with it! WooOOoOOooOooOOo!!11!!11!1!!11!111!